People have told me they've been looking to my blog to see any updates since my crazy scare last weekend, so I'm going to try to start updating now. I've not put any thought into what I'm writing - I'm just writing away - so hopefully it will make sense! Maybe I'll come back and edit at another time! I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am 38 - okay practically 39 - and now have a pacemaker. I always knew that might be in my future but I really thought it would be much further down the line.

I have had cardiac issues all my life. My father, me and Christopher all were born with ASD's. I had my open heart surgery to repair it when I was four years old. They did the best they knew then however, I'm told that back then they were not aware that they should not cut certain nerves during the surgery that could cause problems later on. Supposedly, all of my subsequent cardiac issues stem from that surgery.

I have always had a very "abnormal normal" EKG reading. All my life whenever I got a new cardiologist they would want to run tons of tests because they couldn't understand it.

The cardiologist that I found out here in Jersey in the early 2000's made me carry around a copy of my EKG tape in my purse in case anything ever happened the doctors could see that tape and know that was "my normal."

I also discovered back in the early 2000's that I had an arhythmia and something called wenkebach phenomena (think I'm spelling it right!). Not a big deal. I started taking atenolol - a beta blocker - to slow down and regulate my heartbeats.

I've always HATED the atenolol because it makes me feel very tired. For instance, after Christopher was born, before I went on the atenolol, I used to walk while pushing both babies in the double stroller four miles a day at the Environmental Center, which is hilly, and feel great. I'd started trying to walk again in the last month and could only do one time around comfortably and really have to push to try get in the second time - and that's with no babies. I couldn't believe how tough it was especially since I've always loved to walk.

The reason I had started walking was because I had started feeling very, very tired over the last month or so. So, in an effort to try to get back in shape and healthier I started taking an arsenol of vitamins, eat better and walking. But it wasn't working, in fact, I stopped walking because I would have to come home and take a quick nap before the kids got home from school.

Sunday was like any other day, we went to church and got our palms, I felt fine all day. Then that night after I was in bed Lina (our puppy) started barking and I knew she just wanted a little attention - Ken doesn't let her upstairs. So, I went down and fell asleep on the couch with her.

Then at exactly 1:10AM (I remember cause I looked at the clock) Eddie camed down and asked me to go into his bed with him. So I picked up Lina and put her on the arm chair and went upstairs with Eddie. By the time I got to the top I felt like I was going to die. The only thing I can compare it to is when you get up from a sitting position really quickly and get that head rush like you're going to faint but then it usually goes away. But this one would not stop. I layed down on Eddie's bed but they said that I was sighing and making noises - so much so that it woke Ken in the next room. He asked me what was wrong and I just said I don't feel well and then I kind of dropped to the floor. I was sweating profusely and I was sure it was either a heart attack or stroke. He asked if I needed and ambulance and I was able to say "yes, call 911." He was so panicked that he felt he could get me to the hospital faster than the ambulance so somehow he managed to get me and the kids out to the car and raced to the hospital - scary!

Once there it turned out that my heartrate was really low - down in the 30's. The episode lasted about three hours. It was horrible. My mother-in-law came down to the hospital in the middle of the night and took the kids back to her house. All I could remember about that was Eddie looked terrified.

Because of my abnormal heartrate the hospital admitted me. While I was there, between Monday morning and tueday morning, I ended up having three or four "complete blocks" in my heart rate. After that they felt that it was necessary to put in the pacemaker which they did on Tuesday afternoon. I went home Wednesday afternoon.

My parents have been here doing everything for us since then. I have been feeling up and down since coming home. But the electrophysiologist said that it could take weeks before they get my "pacing" right. Going to my old cardiologist today and have an appointment with the electrophysiologist and guy from from the pacemaker company tomorrow for a "wound check" and "tweeking!"

The boys have been wonderful through this. Eddie has been so grown up and helpful. I am sooooooo proud of him!!!! Christopher isn't phased.

I haven't been alone yet and not really had a chance to let everything that happened and my new life with a pacemaker sink in yet. I think I will also learn a lot more today and tomorrow at my dr's. appointments.

I first had the notion that I might be getting a pacemaker around 10PM Monday night when the cardiologist, Dr. Baklajian, at Valley Hopsital came to see me. At the time he felt strongly that I needed one but he wanted to wait to consult with some of his colleagues the next day. When he told me I was really freaked out just thinking about it. Then the next day at 12noon the electrophysiologist told me at that I would be getting the pacemaker put in at 3PM. So there wasn't much time to let it sink in!

I really, really love the electrophysiologist, Dr. Tina Sirovsky (I think that's the spelling). She and that cardiolgist, Dr. Baklajian (I think) were so nice and so confident. She really explained things to me in the most understandable way than any dr. ever has. Usually my doctors all shake their heads when they see my EKG. She wasn't like that and never made me feel like a freak of nature. Also, I felt comfortable enough with her to ask the question I was most afraid of asking. Such as, if my heart is in this shape at 39 years old what is it going to be like when I am 50, 60, 80???? Will I be around to be a grandma and great grandma (which I am already sooooo looking forward to!) ???? She said without hesitation that I have the same life-expectancy as anyone else and that the pacemaker will only ensure that I have a much better quality of life, feeling much better day to day and will prevent me from having any future episodes like the other night and possibly while driving and crashing or who knows what. So, when she told me that I felt MUCH BETTER about the whole thing.

The pacemaker needs 4-6 weeks to set, so I can't move my left arm much. I have a sling for it. This is the biggest problem of all right now.

Here are some links to articles that might be helpful in understanding what I just tried to say....
http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4611

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/hb/hb_whatis.html

This is something I came across that is really weird but it is about that Wencheback Phenomema that I have. It is a rap video made by some med students at the university of alberta. It's starts out funny but gets annoying quick, at least to me since I'm not a rap fan!

http://practicality.wordpress.com/2007/12/28/video-diagnosis-wenckebach/